A Whole Lot of Racket

It seems as though every week when I head off to guitar lessons I come back with the capability to make even more noise than I was able to make the week before. In the past I've attributed this din to the acquisition of new chords, but this week I learned how to make twice as much clatter simply by strumming down and up. Oh, là là! I don't know how my roommates stand my tortured versions of Edelweiss and Share the Land.

Tonight while making my amazingly edible miso soup again (I've tweaked the recipe as follows: twice as much water, half the miso paste) I was perusing the dietary information on the back of the seaweed package I came to the unfortunate realization that seaweed, in fact, does not have any nutritional value! Or at least not the dried kind that I bought. This was a shocking light bulb moment for me since I naturally assumed that green things reminiscent of vegetables had lots of vitamins and nutrients in them. Not only does seaweed not have any vitamins, it also has no calories, no fat, no carbs... hell, the only it does have is salt and precious little at that.

So much for eating healthy greens at dinner via miso soup! With a nutritional content like that, I might as well drink a glass of water and call it good.

"How I Almost Ate A Screw" and Other Life Stories

Today with the exception of bathroom breaks and the occasional trip to the kitchen to forage in the wasteland that is our refrigerator I literally spent the entire day in my room. In the morning I chatted with my mother, and then I finally watched Consipracy Theory (which was pretty good and surprisingly humorous at times). After three hours of lying around, I decided to complete operation clean room -slash- donate some clothing I never wear to a good cause. To round off the evening I made miso soup (which was [shockingly] edible) and almost swallowed a screw that fell off of our tea pot and into my bowl of couscous during the cooking process. Luckily I was actually chewing my food, so I checked to see what that crunchy thing was before ingesting it (and I thought I was having stomach problems before the screw - I can only imagine the excruciating pain I'd be in had I assumed it was an egg shell and forced it down).

I know it sounds like I am a lazy bum who never leaves the house, and that's because I am a lazy bum who never leaves the house. I do, however, leave the apartment on very rare occasions. Take yesterday, for example - I went out to buy miso soup supplies and to do a little shopping. See, for weeks I've been putting together the perfect outfit for bar hopping. Now that my boots have arrived (and yes, they are every bit as amazing as I dreamed they would be) I decided it was time to complete this outfit once and for all, and yesterday I finally did just that. As a result I'm going to totally rock the bar scene one of these days.

Perhaps you are wondering why I find it necessary to put together an entire outfit just to go have a drink at a bar, so let me explain: going to bars to chat with your friends is fun and all, but part of the reason you go to a bar is to meet new people. Despite going to bars on a semi-regular basis, I have never in my life been approached by anyone at a bar (not even the bar tender - I never seem to be able to flag them down)... how sad is that? Despite our amazing personalities and friendly demeanor nobody wants to chat with me or my friends. After days of obsessing over what could possibly be keeping me out of the inner circle of the bar world, I determined that it must be the way I dressed. I think if I was dressed a little better (read skankier) then people might notice and come talk to me (read try to get into my overly tight pants). Hence the reason I have been crafting this bar hopping (read man snaring) outfit.

Did I mention that when I was walking down the street yesterday a guy in the back of a truck unloaded a police barrier out of the truck and into my shoulder? That thing was heavy and it hurt like hell! When his coworkers asked what he was doing, he said, "I just didn't see her there." So it now seems that I not only need an anti-invisiblity outfit for the bars, but also just for life in general. Who knew that embracing my inner-hussy would be so important some day?

On the other hand, being seemingly invisible does have its advantages on occasion. Today while twiddling my thumbs in my apartment, I successfully avoided running into my roommate for nearly the entire day. He's a nice guy and all but interacting with him is more exhausting than enjoyable. He's an incredibly intelligent guy; he reads worthwhile literature and Harper's, remembers every minute detail of every discussion and is going to go to grad school for political science. I (on the other hand) read novels written from the perspective of horny 14 year-old boys (Youth In Revolt), can't remember what popped out of my mouth 3 minutes ago, may never go to grad school and generally live a life void of politics and global affairs (la la la, it's all butterflies and rainbows here). It's really hard to have a conversation with someone when the only thing you have in common is the bathroom your both brush your teeth in.

Stroke of Genius

Wouldn't it be sort of amazing if the inauguration of the president took place on February 29th, once every four years?

Whoah. This brain child just came to me out of nowhere (no need to tell me I'm a genius, I already know).

The Future Is Uncertain

Today more than ever I feel as if tomorrow is uncertain. We've got a new president who will hopefully do a lot of amazing things to help us turn our country around. I have really high hopes, but at the same time nobody can foresee what exactly will occur in the years to come.

Well, I don't like uncertainty! I like being sure of tomorrow, and so I made a virtual 8-ball to answer all of my questions regarding the future. According to my electronic oracle it seems likely that I will indeed get married before I turn 40, that Emily will for sure get in to grad school, and that I probably won't get fired this year. Bad news is that it's highly improbable that I will be living with the same people a year from now, and it is certain that I will stop eating my vegetables and relapse into my old habits.

Actually, maybe I don't like knowing the future! Oh, well. I'll put my class demo here so you all can know what the future holds for you. Just ask a question, and click the 8-ball to get your answer. Good luck!

My Dad, Facebook Addict

Many people in my family have joined Facebook over the years. Of course all my cousins and "youngish" relatives are on the Facebook, as well as some of my older (but equally hip) relatives. Even my 94 year-old grandfather has an account!

I've been telling my dad forever that he should follow suit and join. It's a great networking web site for all generations, and because so many people use it, it is actually very effective. Well, all my suggestions and nagging would not persuade him. As a result, I was shocked to be friended by him the other day - my father? On the Facebook? Inconceivable.

Well, believe it, kiddos. He is indeed making the most of his Facebook experience by posting pictures, writing on walls and updating his status every hour or so. He's even using internet slang:


It seems like only yesterday when he couldn't even figure out how to attach a photo to an email. They grow up so fast, don't they?

A Broad Abroad

Today Brittany is journeying to a place so remote I didn't even know it existed in order to earn her masters degree. Where is this obscure location? South Africa! That's right - she's traveling half way around the world for higher education. I'm not going to lie, I'm really impressed.

Anyhow, she'll be keeping a blog detailing all of her adventures, and if you know Brittany or are curious about South Africa or just want to know if the toilets really do drain in the opposite direction down there, you should read her blog. She's a funny gal - just look at this screen shot I took from when she was practicing her blogging technique:


That face is priceless! I normally would be afraid to post this photo (bodily dismemberment is not my cup of tea), but as she's left the country I think I'll be safe.

Check out her blog, A Broad Abroad.

I Almost Moved Today

Last night Emily and I found an amazing apartment on Craigslist that is in the exact location we want to be. As it turns out, they were having an open house today and we thought, "Why not?" Since we had nothing better to do (well, Emily did but I of course, did not) we went to check it out.


Needless to say, the place was amazing. Each apartment was nicely laid out and had a lovely little terrace accessible from several rooms. I was instantly in love with the bath tub (which was perfectly slanted for optimum bath time enjoyment) and the kitchen (which was dark, sleek and sophisticated). It's a good thing I don't have 50k to throw around because if I did I would have bought an apartment today! Oh, well.

The thing is, though, seeing that apartment made me realize a few things about my financial situation. I bust my butt to save a good portion of my paycheck each month (I put away 50% of what is left after all my utilities and rent are paid, or about 23 percent of my post-tax income). At this rate of savings, I will be able to afford the down payment on the apartment I saw today in about 20 years (not considering inflation), a thought I find to be truly depressing.

Anyhow, I need to earn more money. I hate to say it like that outright as it sounds so materialistic, but I don't think my desires are unreasonable. I would like to be able to buy a place (renting is a very bad financial decision) in a safe neighborhood that is decent (the places we saw today were very nice, but not extravagant). I want to have enough money to take classes from time to time, and I want to be able to save 20% for retirement. In order to do that comfortably in NY I think I need to make twice what I make now.

Seriously? No wonder nobody wants to join in on the "real world" fun.

Money Can Buy Love

News flash: it's freezing cold in NY. I'm not talking about the normal breezy, tear-inducing weather that causes me to curse under my breath as I run down the streets (wind tunnels?) that make up New York city. It's so cold out here that I don't even want to go outside. Last night I was supposed to go to a concert, but just the thought of walking the 10 minutes from the subway to the venue practically gave me hypothermia and I had to take an hour and a half bath to get the feeling back in my toes. I thought to myself, "Freeze, or play with bubbles?" Hey, we all have our priorities.

Some smart New Yorkers anticipate weather like this and have all the appropriate gear - down puffy coats that go from your shoulders down to your ankles, boots lined with fur, gloves that go from fingertip to armpit, and cashmere hats with sealskin lining (I don't know, it seems plausible). They are the fearless, the few that will sacrifice no social encounter because of a silly thing such as mind numbing cold.

Then there are stupid, not-even-real New Yorkers such as myself who freeze their asses off every time they step out the door. I use the layer method - who needs boots when you can wear seven pairs of socks? What's the point of a long coat when you can just put on some shorts, silk underwear, leggings, and cover it all with your fat pants? Sure, you can see through my skimpy hat, but keeping my head warm is what my unkempt, just-bushwacked-through-a-forest 'do is for, is it not? Normally this freeze-and-endure-it method that has proved to be uncomfortable but tolerable... until now.

Today when I woke up it was 9 degrees out (translation: with the wind chill it feels like -5), and now it is a balmy 11. Nothing makes you want to shop for warm clothing like an arctic chill, and so to celebrate this momentous occasion (er, the one where I literally thought my nose fell off of my face from frostbite, that is) I bought myself some boots and a couple more pairs of long underwear.

This is where the money buying love comes in, because I am literally in love with the boots that I bought. I have no idea if they are going to fit at all, but they are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes upon and I am going to try my darndest to make it work. Do I feel a little bad that the leather is made out of calves skin? Yes. Do I worry that I don't ever wear heels and that I probably have nothing to wear with them? A little. Did my bank account cry out in protest when a large chunk of change was ripped out of it to pay for these boots? Most definitely. But ultimately none of these things matter, because even if I only wear them around the house, wincing from the pain of wearing shoes a size too small while coming to the shocking revelation that I am indeed void of anything resembling morals, it will be worth it because, well... my feet will look hot!

Carrie Bradshaw would be so proud. This thought I find more disturbing than anything else.

The Demands of Our Youth

Today at school I spent quite a lot of time making a musical cow project. It's quite cute, really - you click on these cows and they moo in different pitches so that you can play a song that sounds like cows mooing. I was rather pleased with my work (especially with my mediocre cow drawings) and have been having a ton of fun annoying my poor roommates with cow noises of every variety (between the barnyard soundtrack and my musical stylings on the guitar, I am sure they are both on the verge of moving out).

In my last class of the day I introduced Java which my students have eagerly anticipated starting since the beginning of the year. However, now that we've started it all they talk about is how exceedingly boring Java is and how they want to do Java 3D (which is a bit more challenging), Python, Blender... basically anything but Java. I'm realizing more and more that it is ever challenging to keep these kids' attention.

Is it really all that surprising, though? We live in a world where kids (and adults) are constantly bombarded with graphics, exciting web pages, and awesome 3D games. It's no wonder that kids want to be creating the next Sims, Halo or whatever else it is that the youngin's enjoy these days. Since they constantly see these things on TV, online and through various other outlets, they expect a lot more of themselves and of their classes immediately.

What they don't realize, however, is exactly how much work went into the project creation. They don't realize that the people who created Halo worked with potentially hundreds of programming teams to create thousands and thousands of lines of code to make that program possible. They are understandably disappointed when I tell them that 3D RPG games are a little out of the scope of a 7th grade basic programming class.

Still, you've got to admire their aspirations and their ability to dream big. I wish I didn't have to be the bearer of unfortunate news every day. That's right, just call me, "Meghan, Computer Teacher, Crusher of Dreams."

Middle of the Road

Today I was sending an email to my new guitar teacher* in response to one I was sent, and I wanted to just say, "Thanks for the information and I'll see you Thursday" but was stumped when I got to the end of the sentence by punctuation frustrations. Let's examine my options:

Thanks for the information and I'll see you Thursday -
This is clearly out because I don't have anything else to say - that's the end of the sentence. Next option...

Thanks for the information and I'll see you Thursday?
What? This makes me sound confused and timid, and really there's nothing to be confused about. Moving on...

Thanks for the information and I'll see you Thursday.
This could work, but it makes my sentence sound too formal. I want to sound enthusiastic about my classes, because I like them and look forward to them.

Thanks for the information and I'll see you Thursday!
This makes me sound overenthusiastic and a bit ditsy in my opinion, and I overuse exclamation points as it is.

So what's a girl to do? I needed a sort of go between, something that shows positivity and enthusiasm but in an understated, calm sort of way. Aha:

Thanks for the information and I'll see you Thursday. :-)
Eureka! The smiley face, perfect in-between to show subdued peppiness. Now if only it had a professional air about it all my life problems would be solved.

*That's right, I switched my guitar class so I could take a 4 hour programming class on Tuesday nights. Let's pray the class does not consume my soul!

Eyeballs

I took this picture in a parking lot in NH. You'll have to click on the picture below to enlarge it and see it, but I'll be damned if those two birch trees don't look like they've got a big old eye smack dab in the middle of them. Pretty freaky, I thought.

So... Guitar Is Hard!

Ouch. That's all I have to say.

(OK, I lied. I have a little more to say.)

Last night I went to my first ever guitar lesson. Before I get to the actual lesson part, let me describe the building. The school is on the 11th floor of this crazy building with flight after flight of practice rooms and small recording studios. As I was walking there, I kept passing hot guy after hot guy... ahem, I mean, person after person carrying guitars, and when you get inside the building it's like one big musical love fest. I'm really crossing my fingers and praying to meet the next big someone through a chance elevator encounter.

The people at the guitar school are all very nice, and my teacher is very sweet and patient... which is lucky for me because I will need all the patience I can get! I sort of thought that guitar would be challenging but attainable, and after my lesson I have decided that it is pretty damn near impossible. We learned the D and G chords, and while I can suffer through the G chord the D chord is simply never going to happen. I will now talk you through a quick exercise to demonstrate how impossible the D chord is:

1. Draw three horizontal lines on a piece of paper.
2. Now draw two vertical lines about an inch apart on top of the horizontal lines.
3. Put the number two on top of the spot where the first vertical line and the first horizontal line meet.
4. Put the number three on top of the spot where the second vertical line and the second horizontal line meet.
5. Put the number three on top of the spot where the first vertical line and the third horizontal line meet.
6. Place the piece of paper on top of something flat, skinny and firm (a dvd case, perhaps).
7. Coming from underneath, place your pointer finger on the number 1, your middle finger on the number 2, and your ring finger on the number 3.
8. Push down firmly without letting the tips of your fingers touch any other part of the line except for the intersection.

Fun times.

I think I like to guitar once I get over the pain of it all. I'm pretty sure that I have discovered a way to twist my wrist off quite literally, and so I need to remind myself that that must be the bad technique they were mentioning last night.

For those of you who were waiting with baited breath for my emo guitar videos, it's going to be a while before I can trade in my "10 more minutes of this and my hearing will be lost forever" sound for that of a full fledged indie-rocker.

Early-Onset Alzheimers?

These days there have been two things on my mind on a almost daily basis. The first thing is that I love Nutella and want to eat it constantly - I can't put the thought out of my head. I'm a simple gal, what can I say? The second, is that I couldn't wait to start my guitar lessons.

That's right, lil' ol' me is going to learn to jam on the guitar. I hope you all are prepared for some pretty out-of-pitch emo-esque videos of me rocking out on a plastic guitar. Fear it. Embrace it.

Anyhow, so I've been going on all vacation about my guitar lessons - whenever I have a sad thought, I think about guitar lessons and suddenly everything is better. It's like, with the certainty of the lessons looming in the future, the planets suddenly align and nothing can ruin my mood. Music, it really is a powerful thing.

Well, shockingly I forgot the start date. Tonight when I received a mysterious phone call from a 646 number I thought to myself, "Not those stupid car people again!" and proceeded to have a conversation that went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Car People: Hello, we are calling from the crackle crackle about crackle crum dum.
Me: Who are you?
Car People: We're calling from the guitar school to remind you about your lesson tomorrow night.
Me: Tomorrow night? I thought they started next week.
Car Guitar People: Nope, tomorrow is Tuesday, and you're starting tomorrow.
Me: Oh, well that makes sense since it is the 7th.
Car Guitar People: Nope, it's the 6th.
Me: ... oh. Did I mention that I am still writing 2008 on my checks?
Car Guitar People: ... wow. Yeah, I'm glad we called you. Do you even know how to get here?

So yeah. I think that qualifies me as a genius pretty much.

Cathartic Dumping

All mothers are pretty funny. Anybody who thinks that everything their mother says is another pearl of wisdom is either certifiable or is the child of <<Insert Your Idol Here>>. I'm not saying that mothers are not smart people (quite the contrary!) but just that I am sure you can empathize with me on some level when I tell you that my mother sometimes comes up with zingers. Here is an example:

Mom: Are you going to hide your computer while you are gone for break?
Me: No, I think it will be fine.
Mom: You never know who is going to be going in and out of that apartment.
Me: Uh, I don't think burglars will make it in without Emily or Pete noticing.
Mom: I know. It's not burglars I'm worried about. It's just, well... can you really trust your roommates?

Case in point. Anyhow, over vacation I was reminiscing with my mother about dating (and yes, I truly/sadly can call it reminiscing since it's been that long) when she came up with a great way to boost my morale.

Mom: You need to date some more people.
Me: I know. I just don't meet that many interesting/eligible people.
Mom: Oh, you should date some people you are not interested in.
Me: Um, that seems sort of silly.
Mom: No, not really. You can go out, get some experience, and then you can always dump them first. I think it would be good for you to be the dumper for a while.
Me: Yeah, but I don't want to dump a guy that I like.
Mom: Well, duh. So go on a few dates with undesirable people. It'll be fun!

Ultimately I sort of see her point. However, Emily pointed out to me that it would be very, very bad karma to dump innocent daters just for the sake of dumping someone. The threat of bad karma wins out for the moment, as I need all the good vibes I can possibly muster!

So, It's A New Year

This year I rung in the first of 2009 by getting a good night's sleep. That's right - I turned off the ringer on my phone and went to sleep at 9:30 (pm), party animal that I am.

I feel like for most people it's customary to reflect on the year past but I am not going to do that (this year, I'm just glad that it's over). Instead I'm going to actually make some resolutions. Normally I don't make resolutions because often times you end up beating yourself up when you don't keep them. This year, however, I want to make some serious life changes and so I am going to put them here (partly so I don't forget, and partly because sharing these resolutions forces me into some sort of accountability). So here goes:

1. No more online dating, period. This means no more browsing, no more reading messages, and certainly no meeting people from online, EVER. I sort of justified online dating because I thought I didn't have a coeducational network of friends to pick and choose from. As much as I hate to admit it, my mother was right when she said that I should work on creating a better network of friends. Online dating has produced terrible results in every instance, and to top it all off, it's downright embarrassing to admit to your friends and family.

2. I need to be a healthier person. Lots of people look at me and assume I am healthy because of my build, and if that's not the world's biggest assumption I don't know what is. I need to start eating vegetables and fruit and making more meals at home. This shouldn't be too hard because the thing is I actually LIKE vegetables and fruit and cooking! I don't know why I don't do it more often. I also need to start exercising. Walking is great, but let's get serious.

3. I need to spend more time at school. I have tons of ideas for really cool projects to do with my students. I really want to be a good teacher, but I think doing so requires just a little bit more time than I've been allowing for. This semester I really want 3 of my classes in particular to change from so-so to outstanding. My students deserve that, and it will make me feel good, too.

4. It's time to volunteer. I loved volunteering with Brittany and it's time to start that back up. I really want to find a regular volunteer position to get me out of my apartment and involved in the NY community somehow. I don't need to list all the ways that volunteering is amazing - if you don't already get it it's a waste of time to explain it to you.

5. I've got to distance myself from technology. I spend all day working on the computer and while I love my job, when I go home I want to have a break from the computer screen. My eyes have been twitching for months now and it's only a matter of time before I have a seizure, I swear to God. So instead of staring at screens, I am going to explore neighborhoods, meet up with friends, take classes or do some reading. Clean my room. Cook. Anything but stare at the computer.

So that's the basics of how I want to change. There are many more things I'd like to do, but I think I'm going to start there.

Happy New Year everyone! I hope your resolutions go well.