Life Recently

I'm sitting in my apartment consuming the largest amount of Nutella that I could fit on a spoon at one time and contemplating sex.

*ahem* ... in the city! The "Sex in the City" movie is out today and I'm going to see it with my lovely friends in NY. Isn't that nice? I hate Carrie, though, and am hoping she'll die (it happened in Dawson's Creek to Michelle Williams... prayers are sometimes answered).

Last weekend I went to my sister's graduation which was rather boring, actually. It's weird how when it is happening to you the speeches seem more interesting, the ceremonies more meaningful, the stress less constant... anyhow, I had a super time with my family and especially with my sister.

The weekend my sister graduated also happened to be my birthday! I'm not fishing for congratulations but, like many milestones and holidays, I just feel it should be mentioned. I made myself a most excellent cake using my cake-from-batter secret (which I'm not about to disclose here! You'll just have to try my bundt cake for yourself sometime).

Discipline in the Classroom

Why didn't I think of this sooner?

Dangerous Dealings

Today I was having a heated discussion about programming with one of my students. They were arguing that if we calculated the scale and location of our object like normal and then adjusted for left and right shift we'd achieve the visual effect we had hoped for. I was arguing that we should adjust for left and right shift before calculations, and incorporate the shift into our current and future calculations.

My student never gives in easily, so I was trying to get them to just try my idea, even though they thought it was stupid. They would not, so I made a deal with them: try it your way, then try it my way and see which works better. They still seemed resistant so I mentioned that they would obviously be able to gloat for the rest of the week about how they knew more than their stupid teacher if I was wrong and they were right.

Well, that made trying my idea acceptable. I realized as they were compiling that I probably had just sealed my reputation around school as the world's worst programmer, but oh well. As it turns out, I was (thankfully) right. The effect we created was really cool - it looks like you're running through trees and you can move left or right, forwards or backwards throughout the forest. Yeah, it's awesome (especially thanks to my super smooth shifting method).

I was right. Yup. I'm breathing a sigh of relief.

Ah, City Life

I'm sorry that so many of my stories tend to be vulgar or inappropriate or (as this one will prove to be) just plain disgusting these days. I'm not sure why this is... actually, when I thought over my week of events I immediately thought of this story but decided it was too gross to write out. However, when I tried to come up with something else I had no luck. So here you go, my apologies again:

The other day I came home to a guy sitting on the curb just in front of the door to my building. He happened to be vomiting like it was his life depended on it (actually, come to think of it, perhaps it did). It was terribly unpleasant.

I can tell my gag reflex has been suppressed from this dirty city life, though, for instead of joining him in a gag fest on the side of the road I instead ran upstairs, got my roommate out of bed to tell her my tale and laughed at her as she stumbled out on the balcony to witness this oddity. When the curbside spewer looked up and saw her, she popped back inside and we then contemplated what could have possibly brought him to vomit violently on the side of the road this early in the morning.

Come to think of it, I've seen lots of people vomiting in the road since I've moved here. Huh.

Tea Chugger

I love tea! I had this realization the other day when I got home. You see, I was in dire need of some herbal refreshment (and I don't mean the illegal kind). Unfortunately, we were completely out of milk and I drink tea with no sugar and as much milk as I can fit in my cup. I thought to myself that perhaps I could go the morning without it, so I started doing laundry and whatnot around the apartment. Halfway through my chores my need had gone from dire to... well, something more urgent than dire. I ran to the store and bought some milk and boiled hot water as fast as I possibly could. I put the milk in my tea but was interrupted when I had to get my laundry. Upon returning, I drank my tea in a leisurely fashion. Well, I thought it was leisurely, but Brittany heard my chugging it from across the room (oops). I realized I had downed an entire 16 oz mug of tea in just over 3 minutes flat. I think I've got an addiction.

I'm Going Green!

Green vegetables, that is!

I've decided to eat healthfully (for the 15 millionth time, I know) and so today I went to the grocery store and bought some celery, peanut butter, yogurt, bananas, sweet potato and Asian ramen noodles (ok, I'm not quite there yet). Anyhow, tonight while I was eating my sweet potato I wondered to myself what the healthiest foods were, and so I had a look on the internet, source of all knowledge.

While I was searching about I found this really cool web site that had the following to say about almonds, one of my very favorite foods:

Research shows that eating almonds along with a high glycemic index food significantly lowers the glycemic index of the meal and lessens the rise in blood sugar after eating. (Jones AR, Kendall CW, Metabolism)

In this study, after an overnight 10-12 hour fast, 9 healthy volunteers were randomly fed 3 test meals and 2 white bread (high glycemic) control meals on separate days. Each meal contained 50 grams of carbohydrate from white bread eaten either alone or in combination with 1, 2, or 3 ounces of almonds. To check subjects' rise in blood sugar, blood samples were taken for glucose analysis immediately after eating, and at 15, 30, 45, 60, 90 and 120 minutes.

Eating almonds reduced the glycemic index (GI) of the meal and subjects' rise in blood sugar in a dose-dependent manner - the more almonds consumed, the lower the meal's GI and the less the rise in subjects' blood sugar after eating.

When one-ounce of almonds was eaten along with white bread, the GI of the meal (105.8) was comparable to eating white bread alone, but when two ounces of almonds were consumed with the white bread, the GI dropped to 63, and when 3 ounces of almonds were eaten, the GI was only 45.2 - less than half the GI of the white bread only meal.

Subjects' blood sugar rose 2.8 mmol/L after eating only white bread. When one ounce of almonds was eaten with the bread, blood sugar rose 2.2 mmol/L. Eating two ounces of almonds with the bread resulted in a rise in blood sugar of 2.0 mmol/L, and eating three ounces of almonds caused blood sugar to rise only 1.6 mmol/L - less than half the rise seen after eating white bread alone.

Practical Tips: Don't just enjoy almonds as a between-meal snack. Spread a little almond butter on your toast or down the center of a stalk of celery. Add a handful of lightly roasted almonds to your salad or chop and use as a topping for pasta, steamed or healthy sautéed vegetables. When eating foods with a higher glycemic index, including almonds in the meal can help keep your blood sugar under control.

So eat your almonds, kiddos! Delicious *and* nutricious.

My Awesome Vacation Package

This is your lesson for today, kids: Junk mail may not always be junk mail.

Today I opened an email for kicks claiming that I had won a free vacation package and cruise to the Bahamas! Wahoo! But I was guessing free it was not. How many internet offers was I going to have to complete in order to get my free vacation package?

None, apparently. I click the "yes" button and was given a phone number. Since I had 60 minutes before my laundry was done I decided what the hey, I'd give it a call. Long story short, I was offered a 12 day vacation package that starts in Florida, continues to the Bahamas on a cruise and ends back in Florida - it also includes free Disney day passes and entrances to some casino, whatever whatever.

There was a catch - they were going to knock off $1200 so I only needed to pay $500 remaining. Well, this was a good deal, but not good enough for me. I said no and was sent to the manager (who was ridiculously nice, by the way) and he offered to throw in a 5 day trip to Cancun as well as a 3 day trip to the resort of my choice in the States. Still not good enough for me, so he gave me his employee discount and brought the cost down to $300.

I was tempted, but still couldn't believe it wasn't a scam. So he took me to the better business bureau and had me look up his company and sure enough, they are totally legitimate. He also said he'd throw in a 5 day trip to Spain. Well...

I said ok. But as we were processing the transaction, I was having heart palpitations... what if this was a scam? $300 is not a sum I'd like to lose. They knocked the price down to $200, but I was firm. $99 dollars - would that finalize things? A moment's hesitation and they said I had 10 years to take the trips and would be able to transfer the offers to other people (say, my parents could go to all these places for $99)... well, I'd have been just dumb to say no.

Sure, I do need to pay hotel taxes and docking fees for cruises as well as transportation to the destination, and I also need to attend 40 minute shareholder meetings which are probably going to be pushy and painful, but whatever. Even if I go to one place it will save me so much money it will be worth the $99 spent. I'm feeling pretty pleased right now. :-)

True Life Nightmare

Somehow I got myself subscribed to a Dell mailing list. GAG!

There's nothing worse than junk mail from the worst computer company known to man.

Spicy Salsa In A Pot

I really hope that Tyler girls are chanting through the centuries the only cheer I can ever remember from convocation:

"Spicy salsa in a pot, Tyler girls are wicked hot!"

Does anybody really know what it means? No, but we'll scream it anyhow.

(I take it back, I remember a few more:

"Tyler, Tyler, he's our man! If he can't do it, a woman can!"

and another one that goes something to the effect of:

"First get naked in the pond, then have sex on Tyler lawn!"

Ah, college.)

In other news, today I managed to overflow a toilet at school which was *definitely* one of my finer moments. Ra ra me. (In my defense, the clogging damage had already been done... I was just the lucky one who was silly enough to push the handle after the fact.)

I also returned home to find that I did my taxes wrong (I filled out a 2005 form for my W2 summary which I found on the state tax web page) and I need to fill out all the forms... again... and send them back in within the next 24 hours. Joy.

I do have some good news! I have been sticking to my 6 report a day mandate and have now completed 39 reports. So far, so good!

Like the Heart Song Gone Bad

Last night I had a dream. Not only was this momentous for me simply because I had a dream, but I also actually remembered the dream which was nothing short of a miracle. Since I went to the trouble to remember it all day, I figured I would share it with the world (though if your stomach is weak I urge you not to read further):

The gist is that one of my friends died tragically and suddenly (I can't remember how exactly) and I was really sad about it (obviously). I went to her funeral and there were a panel of observers to monitor our reactions to the service. Basically they had deep fried my friend and people were eating her and tearing her body apart. I woke up just after a particularly violent sobbing fit I'd been dreaming I'd had after witnessing people picking apart her collar bones.

This is crazy twisted, right? I *never* have dreams and the first one I remember in maybe three years with any sort of detail is absolutely horrid. I can't imagine what a dream analyst would have to say about this gem. I am sometimes a little sad that I don't have dreams... but then I go and have one like this and am actually really glad that I rarely have them.

Let's hope the next one is a long time coming!

Homework

I take it back... sometimes working professionals do have to do some homework!

I've made myself a schedule to complete my final student reports in a timely manner. Translation: Every day for the next two weeks I need to write 6 reports (2 hours) in order to finish all of my introductory computer class reports. 

The bad news is... well, I need to write 6 reports every day. 

The good news is that if I can do this, I'll only have 8 reports to write in the remaining three weeks! 

I was feeling a little anti-report writing tonight, but now that I've got 27 done (including my third graders), I'm actually feeling quite ok with this homework aspect of my job. It's going to make my last few weeks at school ridiculously pleasant and easy!

(Now, if only I had realized the beauty of advanced planning in college, I might not have developed the permanent dark circles under my eyes!)

Ouch. My Brain.

This is the sign I would post above the mailboxes if I were just a touch braver:

Dear 24-hour toker,

Please put a towel under your door... I'm experiencing a second-hand high (and nobody needs to experience me experiencing that). Be kind to my roommate and contain your fumes.

Sincerely,
Your Neighbor

Reliving the Glory Days?

Very soon I am going to go to a 2-year reunion for college (I know it's strange, but that's how they roll at my alma mater). It shouldn't come as a surprise that I have consequently been thinking a lot about all the good times I had during college.

Is it normal to be glad they are done and over with? Here's the thing: I made good friends, I had a good time and all that jazz, but it was loads of work, lots of sleepless nights (er, who m I kidding? Sleep always came before work) and stresses galore - not to mention the bonus of living with 2,000 girls... the levels of estrogen were astronomical!

As much as I loved college, I think I love the working world even more. Here's a list of reasons why soon-to-be grads should embrace their impending fates:

1. No Homework. That's right, at the end of the day you get to do whatever you want. It's called a social life, and it's yours for the taking!

2. Your Own Apartment. Some of the lucky few may already have experienced this, and surely graduation does not guarantee that you won't be moving back home this May. However it's highly likely that in the foreseeable future you will have your own apartment and yeah, it's awesome.

3. Income. Sure you'll have bills to pay and retirement funds to contribute to, but with a little luck you'll have a job and a little disposable income. Yippee skippee!

4. Primping Time and the Will to Care. When I was in college I didn't care about how many times I'd worn my jeans, how horrid my hair looked, how my eyebrows looked like an eyebrow and how my legs were growing a national forest. And you know what? Thank GOD I didn't because I had no time to do anything about it even if I had. Not that I'm a complete fashionista when it comes to feminine grooming, but now I have the time to enjoy trying. Which brings me to my next point -

5. Baths. They are a beautiful thing. Taking a 15 minute bath in a public tub while the cleaning lady bangs around in the toilet stalls and your neighbors get it on not-so-discreetly in the shower stall next to you is hardly relaxing. Taking a bath in the privacy of your own apartment while reading the book of your choice in peace and quiet? Bliss.

6. Unexpected Circumstances. While you're in college life may seem pretty uncertain, but basically you're set for 4 years. Once out of school, anything can happen. It's a little scary at first but there's nothing like being in charge of your own life completely.

7. Work. Some people hate their jobs which is unfortunate because when you love it going to work is actually something to look forward to. I'd recommend you try and find a job you like if at all possible so you can reap all the positive benefits.

8. Paid Vacation. This isn't always a given (especially for those in the just-hired category) but you'll make it there eventually. I recommend becoming a teacher to really get the most buck from your vacation.

9. Meals as You Like Them. Even the best college food can't compare with eating exactly what you want every day.

10. Friends. Let's face it - they were the best thing about college, and believe it or not they're still there after college. Some things never change!

Planting America

If you want to do something good for the environment this summer (or I suppose this fall because that is apparently the *prime time* to be planting tress) check out the organization Planting America and sign up to plant some trees. They've already reached their goal of 1 million trees (pledged) but hey, it's a cool idea and it goes to show that anybody with a good idea can make big, positive changes.

Did I mention they'll send you the seeds for free? What can I say, I'm all about free things. I'll take 250, please!